Summer 2010.

A few months ago before we'd finished school and the weather was beautiful, when we were all completely stressed by exams but all the best of friends and nothing could come between us or stop us, summer 2010 looked like it would be the best one yet.

A few months ago before we'd finished school and the weather was beautiful, we had planned to do so many things together. Drive to the seaside, go out every week to dance and sing our hearts out, lie in the sun talking and laughing, find a coffee shop or cafe that we could spend all of our time in. The idea was that this would e our last summer all together before we all went our seperate ways and although we would definitely keep in touch, this summer was going to be "the summer", the summer of all summers, the summer of our adolescence that we remembered above the rest because it was so amazing. We had 3 months to spend how we pleased.

I know it's only the beginning of August, but that means we already half way through our summer holidays. I think I've seen my best friends 3 times not inculding our weekly Wednesday week because that has and always will happen). And not all us together, just a few of us at a time.

Maybe it's me. Maybe everyone else has moved on with their life and I haven't. They nearly all have boyfriends now, and the ones that don't were previously really close and have each other. But this definitely how I imagined it.
Last year, summer 2009 was amazing, the best summer I've ever had. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was "the summer" and now is the time to move on and let everyone else start having summers with new friends and family, partners and the people who are going to play the main parts in the rest of their lives.

As long as we're all always friends - and I know we will be - that's all that matters.

Although yesterday my Dad booked a holiday for my Mom and me for 7 days and I have 2 nights out to look forward to before going on holiday, so things are starting to look up for August. August could potentially be a very good month.

And still, I can't wait to leave. Only 13 days until I found out my fate, until I find out the next step to the rest of my life. On one hand I simply cannot wait, I just want to go off and live my life, be the person I want to be. On the other hand, I'm dreading it, not because I'm scared or nervous to live the rest of my life - not at all - I'm terrified I'm not going to get in to the university and that would just stop my in my tracks to moving forward because I don't know what I'll do.


Me me me. Sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing, thinking.
The rest of the time I'm thinking "there must be something more."

Is there something more?
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