30th November 2010. The last day of the month. It's nearly 11pm. I'm so unbelievably tired, but I need to stay up until midnight so I can text everyone saying "White Rabbits" so that they can hopefully get luck for the month of December. I know it's probably a silly superstition, but it's one that me and my best friends have followed for years and this month isn't going to be any different.
December. I love the month of December. It's special. March, June, and December are special months in my mind. I don't know why, they just seem to mean a little bit more to me than the other months - even though nothing particularly happens that is different to any other month. Well, apart from December. December is a month of traditions. Traditions that started the weekend just gone and I wasn't there for.
It's so weird, the first time you miss a tradition. Every year, my Dad and I get a Christmas tree the last weekend in November, he always comes into my room singing Christmas songs because it's almost Christmas and it is such a big deal in our family. I love tradition. I love Christmas. I love my family.
I'm so excited to go home for Christmas, I've already got lots of plans to see family and friends. The worst thing is buying presents. I hate buying presents, I'm so rubbish at it. I hope I find some inspiration for this Christmas!
This is also a short one, because I'm so tired. This is only my third blog of the month, I think I need to pull my act together and get writing again! It's been a busy, busy month. My life is so different now, my experiences are so different, everything has developed. I wouldn't change a second it it.
Don't forget to say white rabbits in an hour... x
Tuesday, 30 November 2010
Friday, 26 November 2010
Fire, Phobias and Other November Ramblings.
It's over half way through the month and I haven't even written one blog yet.
A lot has been going on to be honest. University takes up so much time - not the lectures or the work, but everything else that comes with it like meeting new people, going out all the time, getting in touch with or visiting home, and making sure you're eating and living properly here.
Surprisingly enough, I think this blog may be to complain about men - makes a change! I'm a bit confused at the moment as to what is going on. Life is confusing though, isn't it? That's just the way it goes, we all have to deal with it. It could be about anything really, an occasional rambling of a teenage girl with lots on her mind but doesn't really know where to start or how to phrase it. Then again, you're probably used to that. I might skip from one thing to another because I started writing this blog when I was annoyed with a lad, but today I'm on top again with and I've been thinking about other things too. Just to warn you!
I don't understand why if two people have got something going on, that changes everything, and I mean everything. If one of them is ill and the other asks them how they are feeling, why does that suddenly become different to the way that person would ask anyone how they were feeling? I mean, if anyone is ill, I'd ask them how they were feeling and check up on them every now and again to see if they were okay. As soon as it is someone that isn't 'just a friend', things change and somehow the meaning of that question deepens.
I don't think anyone will ever truly understand the opposite sex. They can almost understand, and find out after something has happened, but no-one can ever know what they mean before hand. I'm exhausted by wondering. I think I'll just start asking questions. It might ruin the game but it'll be much easier in the short term.
This morning, I was thinking about writing. I came on here to write but I remember thinking about a poem - well it wasn't really a poem, just a poetic description - I wrote in my head and never put down on paper. It was about a big fire that my Dad made on bonfire night and I described it in a metaphorical, descriptive, pretty way so that even though it sounded nice or clever, you had to figure out what it was actually about. At the time I thought it was really good but now I can't remember it. All I remember is daydreaming in front on the fire.
Isn't fire such a beautiful thing? The sparks that fly from it, all the different colours in it that flicker and shine, the the embers that glow and the lovely warmth is gives off and makes you feel inside and out. It has the power to do so much. To heat, to sterilize, to burn, even to kill. It's lethal. And yet it is essential.
If I'm honest, fire terrifies me. I'm scared when I think it's not under complete control. I don't mind candles, but even lighters and matches sometimes make me feel uncomfortable, especially in someone else's hands.
One of my house mates is doing a photography project on "fears". So far, he'doing heights and clowns and he needs to find some more fears that he can take photos off, but phobias are so interesting.
What are you afraid of?
Although they can make things difficult and scary, fears shouldn't stop you from doing anything.
A lot has been going on to be honest. University takes up so much time - not the lectures or the work, but everything else that comes with it like meeting new people, going out all the time, getting in touch with or visiting home, and making sure you're eating and living properly here.
Surprisingly enough, I think this blog may be to complain about men - makes a change! I'm a bit confused at the moment as to what is going on. Life is confusing though, isn't it? That's just the way it goes, we all have to deal with it. It could be about anything really, an occasional rambling of a teenage girl with lots on her mind but doesn't really know where to start or how to phrase it. Then again, you're probably used to that. I might skip from one thing to another because I started writing this blog when I was annoyed with a lad, but today I'm on top again with and I've been thinking about other things too. Just to warn you!
I don't understand why if two people have got something going on, that changes everything, and I mean everything. If one of them is ill and the other asks them how they are feeling, why does that suddenly become different to the way that person would ask anyone how they were feeling? I mean, if anyone is ill, I'd ask them how they were feeling and check up on them every now and again to see if they were okay. As soon as it is someone that isn't 'just a friend', things change and somehow the meaning of that question deepens.
I don't think anyone will ever truly understand the opposite sex. They can almost understand, and find out after something has happened, but no-one can ever know what they mean before hand. I'm exhausted by wondering. I think I'll just start asking questions. It might ruin the game but it'll be much easier in the short term.
This morning, I was thinking about writing. I came on here to write but I remember thinking about a poem - well it wasn't really a poem, just a poetic description - I wrote in my head and never put down on paper. It was about a big fire that my Dad made on bonfire night and I described it in a metaphorical, descriptive, pretty way so that even though it sounded nice or clever, you had to figure out what it was actually about. At the time I thought it was really good but now I can't remember it. All I remember is daydreaming in front on the fire.
Isn't fire such a beautiful thing? The sparks that fly from it, all the different colours in it that flicker and shine, the the embers that glow and the lovely warmth is gives off and makes you feel inside and out. It has the power to do so much. To heat, to sterilize, to burn, even to kill. It's lethal. And yet it is essential.
If I'm honest, fire terrifies me. I'm scared when I think it's not under complete control. I don't mind candles, but even lighters and matches sometimes make me feel uncomfortable, especially in someone else's hands.
One of my house mates is doing a photography project on "fears". So far, he'doing heights and clowns and he needs to find some more fears that he can take photos off, but phobias are so interesting.
What are you afraid of?
Although they can make things difficult and scary, fears shouldn't stop you from doing anything.
Saturday, 20 November 2010
My Favourite Quotes..
"It's up to us to make the best of the things that come out way."
"The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you just like everyone else."
"The important thing is this: to be able to, at any moment, sacrifice what we are for what we might become."
"Don't hestitate. Just do it."
"Just jump, and pray to God that you can fly."
"A best friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words..."
"When you come to the end of all you know, you must believe two things: there will be earth under your feet, or you will be given wings."
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.”
“In love, it is better to know and be disappointed, than to not know and always wonder.”
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
"The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you just like everyone else."
"The important thing is this: to be able to, at any moment, sacrifice what we are for what we might become."
"Don't hestitate. Just do it."
"Just jump, and pray to God that you can fly."
"A best friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words..."
"When you come to the end of all you know, you must believe two things: there will be earth under your feet, or you will be given wings."
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.”
“In love, it is better to know and be disappointed, than to not know and always wonder.”
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
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