I think it's amazing how people walk in and out of your life. You can meet someone, one day, for a second, or maybe spend a few weeks with them, and then circumstances change and the chances are you're never going to see them again. You might bump into them in the street at some point, but that could be in a month, or in 10 years, or not at all.
We all do it. Imagine how many lives you've walked into, and back out of again, and who's you've walked into and you've never left (and maybe never plan to).
For the past two months, every Monday and Tuesday I have been doing temporary office work and the people in the office (6 women and 1 guy) are all really lovely. I've had such a laugh with some of them. Admittedly, some of them I won't miss, as I already find them tedious and it has only been about 16 days spent with them. But a few of them have really made an impression on me, I've enjoyed their company and I appreciate the way they've treated and accepted me as one of their own.
They've even asked me to keep in touch, and said that they would do me favours when my graudation comes along if I'd like. This means a lot to me and I may just take them up on this, just so I can say hello again.
It's strange how people walk in and out of your life. Some people you won't even remember. They're just a passing soul, just as you are to them, living their life while you're busy living yours.
It's strange how people walk in and out of your life. Some hang around for a while. We hope that these people hanging around are the special ones. They should be, after all these are the people that you're bothering to stay in contact with.
The special ones are those who make an impression on you. And just because someone makes an impression on you doesn't mean that they'll make an impression on the person next to you, and vice versa. I've become really aware of this the past few years, and I really like the idea of it. Everyone is different, after all, and the peole that we like, associate with and think are special are going to be different too.
Well, I hope never to lose touch with the people who made an impression on me, and I simply cannot wait to meet more people that do just that.
I hope you meet plenty of people that make an impression on you, and I hope you're brave enough to make an effort to keep in touch with them, whatever the barriers.
x
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
Monday, 21 November 2011
Archiving & Thinking About Fate.
I'm sitting alone in an small archive room, bagging old files to be shredded (which is unbelievably boring, and always gives me paper cuts), listening to music very quietly on my phone.
Archives are strange. All of these files are from students who gave finished now. Who have gone on to begin their lives, to get jobs and start settling down. I wonder how many of them actually feel old and mature enough to do that yet. All these old files have stories behind them and the stories are getting left behind for new ones. It just makes me wonder. About them and about us. In a couple if years, these will be our files and our work. It seems strange how quickly life moves on.
Anyway, I'm listening to music, secretly on my phone. Into The West by Annie Lennox came on. It's the last song in Lord Of The Rings : Return Of The King, so the chances are you've probably heard it. Anyway, its a slow, sad, beautiful song that made me start thinking. Not because of the lyrics particularly, but just because if the slow, hopeful sadness that the sing gives off to me.
I started thinking about life, about how we don't really have any control over it. I mean, I know we make choices everyday that affect our lives, but at the end of the day some things are just not meant to be. Or maybe a better way of looking at it would be that some things just are meant to be.
My first thought, from listening to the sad song, was that I can't believe my cousin and her boyfriend have split up. They broke up yesterday and although they have been arguing a lot, she wasn't really expecting it, and I was expecting it even less. I thought they were great together, but I guess, what do I know? What does anyone know? Noone can predict the future, or what's going to happen.
So this is how I got on to life. I decided that there is nothing you do about certain situations. There was nothing she could do to stop that happening, from stopping the inevitable. Maybe the inevitable can be delayed, but whatever is going to happen, will happen, eventually.
Now that doesn't mean that everything is permanent. Although something is inevitable, such as a break up, it might just be part of the journey those people walk. They might meet again. Hopefully when they do, they're on much better terms.
It's just that some people match, and some don't. Some people's personalities and situations go so well with certain other people, that theu get on so well and nothing will change that. But in other cases, if one of the people's situation changes, and it doesn't match the other person's, that's when the disagreements or drifting starts. Like losing touch with old friends, or breaking up with a partner.
I had a conversation with my boyfriend about fate. It was a long time ago, before we were together, before anything had ever happened between the two of us. He asked me if I believed in fate, whether our lives were already planned out for us and the decisions we made had already been decided for us. That was what fate was. Our decisions actually didn't really make a difference because they had already been chosen for us.
I said that I did believe in fate, to a degree. I thought that some things were meant to be, but we could change fate, if we wanted to, if we made a different decision to the one we might normally have made.
Then he said, if I thought decisions made a different then it couldn't be fate because that would mean that every decision made would have an affect on the future. It could be a minor or major change but a change all the same. They meant there were potentially billions of different outcomes in life, and any single one if them could be the one that actually happens, depending on a series of events and decisions.
I think there are certain things that are inevitable, but I guess nothing is completely concrete, every outcome can be changed if the people involved want it to be.
So, no further in my decision on fate, but at least my time in the archive room hasn't been quite as boring as it could have been. I guess it must be fate that Into The West was one if the first songs to come on, so that u could spend the time thinking, and writing this at the same time.
Do you believe in fate? I may have written a blog about fate and asked that before, but it does interest me, what people think of it.
I hope you make all the right decisions so that you're happy. But I guess whatever decision you make, it's the right one, right?
x
Archives are strange. All of these files are from students who gave finished now. Who have gone on to begin their lives, to get jobs and start settling down. I wonder how many of them actually feel old and mature enough to do that yet. All these old files have stories behind them and the stories are getting left behind for new ones. It just makes me wonder. About them and about us. In a couple if years, these will be our files and our work. It seems strange how quickly life moves on.
Anyway, I'm listening to music, secretly on my phone. Into The West by Annie Lennox came on. It's the last song in Lord Of The Rings : Return Of The King, so the chances are you've probably heard it. Anyway, its a slow, sad, beautiful song that made me start thinking. Not because of the lyrics particularly, but just because if the slow, hopeful sadness that the sing gives off to me.
I started thinking about life, about how we don't really have any control over it. I mean, I know we make choices everyday that affect our lives, but at the end of the day some things are just not meant to be. Or maybe a better way of looking at it would be that some things just are meant to be.
My first thought, from listening to the sad song, was that I can't believe my cousin and her boyfriend have split up. They broke up yesterday and although they have been arguing a lot, she wasn't really expecting it, and I was expecting it even less. I thought they were great together, but I guess, what do I know? What does anyone know? Noone can predict the future, or what's going to happen.
So this is how I got on to life. I decided that there is nothing you do about certain situations. There was nothing she could do to stop that happening, from stopping the inevitable. Maybe the inevitable can be delayed, but whatever is going to happen, will happen, eventually.
Now that doesn't mean that everything is permanent. Although something is inevitable, such as a break up, it might just be part of the journey those people walk. They might meet again. Hopefully when they do, they're on much better terms.
It's just that some people match, and some don't. Some people's personalities and situations go so well with certain other people, that theu get on so well and nothing will change that. But in other cases, if one of the people's situation changes, and it doesn't match the other person's, that's when the disagreements or drifting starts. Like losing touch with old friends, or breaking up with a partner.
I had a conversation with my boyfriend about fate. It was a long time ago, before we were together, before anything had ever happened between the two of us. He asked me if I believed in fate, whether our lives were already planned out for us and the decisions we made had already been decided for us. That was what fate was. Our decisions actually didn't really make a difference because they had already been chosen for us.
I said that I did believe in fate, to a degree. I thought that some things were meant to be, but we could change fate, if we wanted to, if we made a different decision to the one we might normally have made.
Then he said, if I thought decisions made a different then it couldn't be fate because that would mean that every decision made would have an affect on the future. It could be a minor or major change but a change all the same. They meant there were potentially billions of different outcomes in life, and any single one if them could be the one that actually happens, depending on a series of events and decisions.
I think there are certain things that are inevitable, but I guess nothing is completely concrete, every outcome can be changed if the people involved want it to be.
So, no further in my decision on fate, but at least my time in the archive room hasn't been quite as boring as it could have been. I guess it must be fate that Into The West was one if the first songs to come on, so that u could spend the time thinking, and writing this at the same time.
Do you believe in fate? I may have written a blog about fate and asked that before, but it does interest me, what people think of it.
I hope you make all the right decisions so that you're happy. But I guess whatever decision you make, it's the right one, right?
x
Monday, 7 November 2011
Generally Nice People.
I've had this discussion with so many people, but I still wonder about it because I find it difficult to believe how anyone can be so cynical when they are meeting new people or going into any new relationships (whether it be first meeting someone, being acquaintances, friends, lovers, colleagues).
Last term, at university, I had a debate with some lads about if someone can be a "generally nice person, selfless and have good, selfless intentions with everything they do". I believe that there are people out there that are like this - I know that there are because I've seen it first hand, and some people (for example my Mom and another family member) are the most genuinely nice, helpful, kind, lovely people I have ever met - that anyone could ever meet!
Some people (and this I agree with) are just nasty, selfish people who think only of themselves and do not care of any other consequences of their actions.
I don't dispute that there a lot of people around who seem nice who have something behind their mask, people who have secret intentions - even if they're not bad intentions, even if they're just benefitting in some way - but sometimes the intentions can be bad too. That's what the lads argued. Their argument was survival of the fittest, people live to stay alive so they come first in their life and therefore why would they do things that they don't benefit from? What would be the point in that?
People are manipulative and live life with number one first at heart. People that they love come immediately behind them, and most other people do not matter. I don't think this is true either - I know a lot of people, in my family in particular, that would definitely put their loved ones first. Most parents would put their children first and many partners would put the one they love's needs in front of their own.
If you're living for yourself - if you have nothing or noone to live for, are you really living? I'd hate to feel that way, that I was the most important thing in life - that I had nothing that I felt was as important to me as myself. Not that I think I'm this genuine, lovely, kind, selfless person. But I could be - I definitely have some of those traits in me. I generally wish for health and happiness for everyone - especially for those who deserve it, for which I am sure there are plently of people.
"No good deed is selfless." Is that true?
Do you save a life as a selfless act, or because you would feel bad and guilty if you didn't do it, or at least try? Or do you save a life because it is a life and that life should be saved - no matter who the person is; someone you love, someone you hate, someone you know or don't know, someone who has commited a crime, someone completely selfless and lovely?
I do love to help people. My life ambition (among other things) is to help people. I love helping people. But maybe this isn't a selfless act. Maybe I'm selfish because it makes me feel good when I help people and maybe, subconsciously, that's why I do it. But does that actually matter? Of course you're not going to do it if it makes you feel bad. I suppose it's the ratio as to who it helps more. If the act helps you more than the person then could be it classed as selfish? And if it benefits the person an equal amount or more than you then is is more selfless?
You might go out of your way to help someone, giving them time and effort or something that you could do with yourself. That truly would be selfles - especially if there are no benefits whatsoever for the person doing the act.
The lads I had this discussion kept giving me extreme situations to suit them in which I could not really win, but there are at least two sides to every argument so they have the right to do that to me! They said that if they had to choose between the life of their family member or a stranger, they would choose. They would choose the family member - as I assume everyone would. But they said choosing would make them a bad person. The paradox is that choosing no-one would make them a bad person too as they are sacrificing a life as to not choose between lives. So there are many siutations and examples they could use that I will never win, although these situations are very extreme.
So, I will be positive and hopeful in the idea that there are people out there who are genuinely nice, helpful and selfless. I really do believe there are people out there like that - there must be. I feel sorry for the cynical people who don't believe it, because until they see it for themselves, they are missing out on the beauty of selfless acts and kindess.
I hope that you are able to believe in selflessness and kindness.
x
Last term, at university, I had a debate with some lads about if someone can be a "generally nice person, selfless and have good, selfless intentions with everything they do". I believe that there are people out there that are like this - I know that there are because I've seen it first hand, and some people (for example my Mom and another family member) are the most genuinely nice, helpful, kind, lovely people I have ever met - that anyone could ever meet!
Some people (and this I agree with) are just nasty, selfish people who think only of themselves and do not care of any other consequences of their actions.
I don't dispute that there a lot of people around who seem nice who have something behind their mask, people who have secret intentions - even if they're not bad intentions, even if they're just benefitting in some way - but sometimes the intentions can be bad too. That's what the lads argued. Their argument was survival of the fittest, people live to stay alive so they come first in their life and therefore why would they do things that they don't benefit from? What would be the point in that?
People are manipulative and live life with number one first at heart. People that they love come immediately behind them, and most other people do not matter. I don't think this is true either - I know a lot of people, in my family in particular, that would definitely put their loved ones first. Most parents would put their children first and many partners would put the one they love's needs in front of their own.
If you're living for yourself - if you have nothing or noone to live for, are you really living? I'd hate to feel that way, that I was the most important thing in life - that I had nothing that I felt was as important to me as myself. Not that I think I'm this genuine, lovely, kind, selfless person. But I could be - I definitely have some of those traits in me. I generally wish for health and happiness for everyone - especially for those who deserve it, for which I am sure there are plently of people.
"No good deed is selfless." Is that true?
Do you save a life as a selfless act, or because you would feel bad and guilty if you didn't do it, or at least try? Or do you save a life because it is a life and that life should be saved - no matter who the person is; someone you love, someone you hate, someone you know or don't know, someone who has commited a crime, someone completely selfless and lovely?
I do love to help people. My life ambition (among other things) is to help people. I love helping people. But maybe this isn't a selfless act. Maybe I'm selfish because it makes me feel good when I help people and maybe, subconsciously, that's why I do it. But does that actually matter? Of course you're not going to do it if it makes you feel bad. I suppose it's the ratio as to who it helps more. If the act helps you more than the person then could be it classed as selfish? And if it benefits the person an equal amount or more than you then is is more selfless?
You might go out of your way to help someone, giving them time and effort or something that you could do with yourself. That truly would be selfles - especially if there are no benefits whatsoever for the person doing the act.
The lads I had this discussion kept giving me extreme situations to suit them in which I could not really win, but there are at least two sides to every argument so they have the right to do that to me! They said that if they had to choose between the life of their family member or a stranger, they would choose. They would choose the family member - as I assume everyone would. But they said choosing would make them a bad person. The paradox is that choosing no-one would make them a bad person too as they are sacrificing a life as to not choose between lives. So there are many siutations and examples they could use that I will never win, although these situations are very extreme.
So, I will be positive and hopeful in the idea that there are people out there who are genuinely nice, helpful and selfless. I really do believe there are people out there like that - there must be. I feel sorry for the cynical people who don't believe it, because until they see it for themselves, they are missing out on the beauty of selfless acts and kindess.
I hope that you are able to believe in selflessness and kindness.
x
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