Does everyone have a love that they'll never forget? One person that they'll never really get over. Sterotypically this is how it goes: once upon a time you were together, you break up and not see each other for a long time, you're convinced you're over them but one day - one completely normal, ordinary, nothing special happening day - you see them in the street, and just like in a film, all the amazing memories you had with them coming spinning through your mind, overwhelming you with nostalgia and a love for this person like you had for them back at that time when you were making the memories.
But what about if you were never together? What if you were friends? What if you loved them as a friend, you grew to love them more and more, so much that it became unbearable and you wanted to just blurt it out but you knew you couldn't?
All we hear about are love stories, happy endings, where people find love and it makes their world - even if one of them leaves the world, it doesn't matter because you're left to believe that they would always love each other.
What about the people who find "the one", but their love is unrequited? They aren't "the one" to the person they love. What about those people? Why does no-one tell those stories? They may be depressing, heartbreaking but they're true! Just as true as any other love story.
Maybe I sound like a bitter girl who hasn't found love. Not requited love anyway.
I don't understand love. I don't understand anything to do with it. I just wish it was harder to fall in love so that your heart didn't feel like it was being ripped out when love goes wrong.
I'm scared that it will never go away. I'll leave, be convinced that I'm over it and then as soon as I see him smile at me, or just look at me and hold my glance and stare for a second too long like he always does, I know I'm just going to fall all over again. I'm scared it will never stop. One day I'll come back and he'll be in love with someone amazing and beautiful, she'll be everything I will never be, and I've lost, but it still doesn't stop. I'm scared that I'll meet someone, I might fall in love, but they'll never be everything that *he* is.
"I love him, I love him, I love him, but only on my own."
I hope you find requited love. But if not, tell someone your story. Everyone needs to tell their story.
x
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
Friends.
A few weeks ago, my Dad met up with a friend of his, one he only sees every 6 months and sometimes even less. But they're still best friends. When they meet, it's like not a minute has passed and they're best friends again as they always have been.
My university asked, "which three words would your best friend use to describe you?" I text five different friends of mine and each of them said "loyal". Loyal, funny, kind, caring, trustworthy, talented, honest, "spur of the moment kind of girl" (sp (I think she was lookign for the word spontaneous) and strong were the different variations. Considering I could've had 15 different adjectives and everyone single person said loyal, I think I'm loyal! They make me smile so much.
I'm the luckiest person in the world when it comes to the people who I love that love me.
Someone I care about (more than I think he'll ever know who might have a blog dedicated to him very soon), when he was asking what was wrong and being a wonderful friend to me once said "how many people do you have that genuiely care about you?" I thought about it for a second and I could think of ten people of the top of my head that I know what be there for me at the drop of a hat if I needed it. I reolied, "I'm lucky in that aspect." I know I am. My family and friends are wonderful. I'll never forget it.
It makes me wonder about friendships. In the past, I've had friendships that I thought would latst forever, we'd be best friends forever and I'd never need anyone else. Then we grew up, went our seperate ways - to different senior schools or we met new friends. Then at senior school I made some better friends. Friends that I still have now, that have been by my side throught the good and the bad for years and I can see in my future as being the ones there for me.
We're getting older, becoming adults, becoming our own people who can make our own desicions. We can live where with want with whom we want. We want study what we want and do what we want. We can love who we want and spend our time with whomever we please.
The people I thought I'd have by my side my whole life may not be. I may have been mistaken by some of them. And though I would never doubt their love and friendship for one second, I can see them slipping away. I know they'll always be there if I needed them, but other people and other things become more important and we learn to live without each other. Some are slipping, but there are the special few who are by my side who I don't think I will ever be mistaken about.
As for these special few, as we've gotten older, although we've stayed best friends, the past couple of years one thing became more important. Love.
Now, although I still have my best friends, they all have their partner, a loved one who I've become great friends with too and I'm one hundred per cent happy for my best friends as they've found love.
Remember old friends, never forget the friends you had, have and always will have. Remember that you can never have too many friends. To have a friend you need to be a friend. There will always be people in the future, friends that you haven't even met yet.
I'll always remember my friends. Old and new.
"Understand that friends come and go, but to the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle. The older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young."
x
My university asked, "which three words would your best friend use to describe you?" I text five different friends of mine and each of them said "loyal". Loyal, funny, kind, caring, trustworthy, talented, honest, "spur of the moment kind of girl" (sp (I think she was lookign for the word spontaneous) and strong were the different variations. Considering I could've had 15 different adjectives and everyone single person said loyal, I think I'm loyal! They make me smile so much.
I'm the luckiest person in the world when it comes to the people who I love that love me.
Someone I care about (more than I think he'll ever know who might have a blog dedicated to him very soon), when he was asking what was wrong and being a wonderful friend to me once said "how many people do you have that genuiely care about you?" I thought about it for a second and I could think of ten people of the top of my head that I know what be there for me at the drop of a hat if I needed it. I reolied, "I'm lucky in that aspect." I know I am. My family and friends are wonderful. I'll never forget it.
It makes me wonder about friendships. In the past, I've had friendships that I thought would latst forever, we'd be best friends forever and I'd never need anyone else. Then we grew up, went our seperate ways - to different senior schools or we met new friends. Then at senior school I made some better friends. Friends that I still have now, that have been by my side throught the good and the bad for years and I can see in my future as being the ones there for me.
We're getting older, becoming adults, becoming our own people who can make our own desicions. We can live where with want with whom we want. We want study what we want and do what we want. We can love who we want and spend our time with whomever we please.
The people I thought I'd have by my side my whole life may not be. I may have been mistaken by some of them. And though I would never doubt their love and friendship for one second, I can see them slipping away. I know they'll always be there if I needed them, but other people and other things become more important and we learn to live without each other. Some are slipping, but there are the special few who are by my side who I don't think I will ever be mistaken about.
As for these special few, as we've gotten older, although we've stayed best friends, the past couple of years one thing became more important. Love.
Now, although I still have my best friends, they all have their partner, a loved one who I've become great friends with too and I'm one hundred per cent happy for my best friends as they've found love.
Remember old friends, never forget the friends you had, have and always will have. Remember that you can never have too many friends. To have a friend you need to be a friend. There will always be people in the future, friends that you haven't even met yet.
I'll always remember my friends. Old and new.
"Understand that friends come and go, but to the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle. The older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young."
x
Monday, 6 September 2010
100th Post.
Yep, you got it. This is my 100th published post on my blog! Go me!
Today is September 6th and the past few days have been pretty hectic.
Friday 3rd September:
I recieved a letter off my university saying that they were unable to provide me with accomodation. My Dad and I have a matchplay final - the family trophy, a competition we both really wanted to win - but I was so worried about having nowhere to live! We rang up and got some appointments to look around some rooms in houses in the private sector part of the accomodation for the university for Saturday 5th.
We went to play golf, although it took my half the round to get to grips with myself and get university out of my head, I started playing well and as my Dad was playing really well, we managed to win 5 and 3. We are the Family Trophy Winners 2010! Everyone was so please, I'm over the moon, it's such a nice thing to win with my Dad.
We spent the evening drinking, walked home via the chippy and went to bed ready for an early start the next morning.
Saturday 4th September:
Early rise, leaving at 8 to meet our first appointment at 10. We looked around 3 apartments, it was chaos! So many people were looking for rooms, they were going here there and everywhere, we barely got the chance to look at some because they were taken off the market the minute we stepped out of the houses.
At 1pm, we met an estate agent and 3 of the 4 rooms had been taken since we had spoke on the phone. We went to look at the fourth room. In a house where eight friends in their second year who had moved in together, but one person had dropped out so there was a room spare. We went and looked and I liked the house and the room. We had to decide between that room and one we'd seen earlier if it hadn't been taken. As my parents and I were discussind it, a pretty girl who lived there came in and introduced herself saying that she'd love for a girl to move into the room because there were two girls and five lads there. She was lovely and it's her I have to thank for making me decide on that room.
I signed the contract and now I officially have a room, I'm moving away. All of a sudden, it got real.
That evening I had an email off the estate agent, I had been attatched to a email sent to all of the other tenants introducing me.
Sunday 5th September:
I played golf with a few people, one of which I adore and wish we were still as close as we were but I suppose that's life. I also waited for one of the people living in the house to get in touch. No-one did. Maybe they're all cool and actually have a life, therefore don't spend all their time on the internet.
Monday 6th September:
I went to meet my two best friends, had a lovely day catching up and talking about uni. I checked my email when I was there and guess who I had an email off!
One of the lads from the house had emailed me and told me to add them all on facebook. This evening I've spent my time singing to try and get my voice back because I found out today that I am very out of practise and messaging three of the lads who I will be living with in less than three weeks.
I've had a turn around. After this weekend, something changed and I can't wait to move in there and meet them all. I really hope we get on and they like me, I'm quite nervous but it doesn't matter because I'm so excited!
I'm going to miss my friends and family immensely, but this is it. I've been waiting for this my whole life.
The next step. The next move. The start of the rest of my life. And I just cannot wait.
x
Today is September 6th and the past few days have been pretty hectic.
Friday 3rd September:
I recieved a letter off my university saying that they were unable to provide me with accomodation. My Dad and I have a matchplay final - the family trophy, a competition we both really wanted to win - but I was so worried about having nowhere to live! We rang up and got some appointments to look around some rooms in houses in the private sector part of the accomodation for the university for Saturday 5th.
We went to play golf, although it took my half the round to get to grips with myself and get university out of my head, I started playing well and as my Dad was playing really well, we managed to win 5 and 3. We are the Family Trophy Winners 2010! Everyone was so please, I'm over the moon, it's such a nice thing to win with my Dad.
We spent the evening drinking, walked home via the chippy and went to bed ready for an early start the next morning.
Saturday 4th September:
Early rise, leaving at 8 to meet our first appointment at 10. We looked around 3 apartments, it was chaos! So many people were looking for rooms, they were going here there and everywhere, we barely got the chance to look at some because they were taken off the market the minute we stepped out of the houses.
At 1pm, we met an estate agent and 3 of the 4 rooms had been taken since we had spoke on the phone. We went to look at the fourth room. In a house where eight friends in their second year who had moved in together, but one person had dropped out so there was a room spare. We went and looked and I liked the house and the room. We had to decide between that room and one we'd seen earlier if it hadn't been taken. As my parents and I were discussind it, a pretty girl who lived there came in and introduced herself saying that she'd love for a girl to move into the room because there were two girls and five lads there. She was lovely and it's her I have to thank for making me decide on that room.
I signed the contract and now I officially have a room, I'm moving away. All of a sudden, it got real.
That evening I had an email off the estate agent, I had been attatched to a email sent to all of the other tenants introducing me.
Sunday 5th September:
I played golf with a few people, one of which I adore and wish we were still as close as we were but I suppose that's life. I also waited for one of the people living in the house to get in touch. No-one did. Maybe they're all cool and actually have a life, therefore don't spend all their time on the internet.
Monday 6th September:
I went to meet my two best friends, had a lovely day catching up and talking about uni. I checked my email when I was there and guess who I had an email off!
One of the lads from the house had emailed me and told me to add them all on facebook. This evening I've spent my time singing to try and get my voice back because I found out today that I am very out of practise and messaging three of the lads who I will be living with in less than three weeks.
I've had a turn around. After this weekend, something changed and I can't wait to move in there and meet them all. I really hope we get on and they like me, I'm quite nervous but it doesn't matter because I'm so excited!
I'm going to miss my friends and family immensely, but this is it. I've been waiting for this my whole life.
The next step. The next move. The start of the rest of my life. And I just cannot wait.
x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)