It's over half way through the month and I haven't even written one blog yet.
A lot has been going on to be honest. University takes up so much time - not the lectures or the work, but everything else that comes with it like meeting new people, going out all the time, getting in touch with or visiting home, and making sure you're eating and living properly here.
Surprisingly enough, I think this blog may be to complain about men - makes a change! I'm a bit confused at the moment as to what is going on. Life is confusing though, isn't it? That's just the way it goes, we all have to deal with it. It could be about anything really, an occasional rambling of a teenage girl with lots on her mind but doesn't really know where to start or how to phrase it. Then again, you're probably used to that. I might skip from one thing to another because I started writing this blog when I was annoyed with a lad, but today I'm on top again with and I've been thinking about other things too. Just to warn you!
I don't understand why if two people have got something going on, that changes everything, and I mean everything. If one of them is ill and the other asks them how they are feeling, why does that suddenly become different to the way that person would ask anyone how they were feeling? I mean, if anyone is ill, I'd ask them how they were feeling and check up on them every now and again to see if they were okay. As soon as it is someone that isn't 'just a friend', things change and somehow the meaning of that question deepens.
I don't think anyone will ever truly understand the opposite sex. They can almost understand, and find out after something has happened, but no-one can ever know what they mean before hand. I'm exhausted by wondering. I think I'll just start asking questions. It might ruin the game but it'll be much easier in the short term.
This morning, I was thinking about writing. I came on here to write but I remember thinking about a poem - well it wasn't really a poem, just a poetic description - I wrote in my head and never put down on paper. It was about a big fire that my Dad made on bonfire night and I described it in a metaphorical, descriptive, pretty way so that even though it sounded nice or clever, you had to figure out what it was actually about. At the time I thought it was really good but now I can't remember it. All I remember is daydreaming in front on the fire.
Isn't fire such a beautiful thing? The sparks that fly from it, all the different colours in it that flicker and shine, the the embers that glow and the lovely warmth is gives off and makes you feel inside and out. It has the power to do so much. To heat, to sterilize, to burn, even to kill. It's lethal. And yet it is essential.
If I'm honest, fire terrifies me. I'm scared when I think it's not under complete control. I don't mind candles, but even lighters and matches sometimes make me feel uncomfortable, especially in someone else's hands.
One of my house mates is doing a photography project on "fears". So far, he'doing heights and clowns and he needs to find some more fears that he can take photos off, but phobias are so interesting.
What are you afraid of?
Although they can make things difficult and scary, fears shouldn't stop you from doing anything.
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