I Will.

I feel like haven't written for ages. It has been a couple of weeks, maybe longer than normal but still not longer than I promised myself, yet it seems like forever. The past month or so has been really busy but I can't think of why. We've finished school so in the day I've been free. I've played quite a lot of golf and been out with friends but that's about it. Nothing different to usual.

It's less than a month till we get out results. Three weeks yesterday, and I'm beginning to worry. The rest of my life depends on three letters. If those letters are ABB or better then university here I come. Watch out. I'm beginning to like the idea of university again because it means I can leave immediately. I know that shouldn't be the reason I want to go, it isn't the single reason, but it contributes a lot. The second reason is that it would make me parents proud. My whole life, that has been my life's aim, to make my Mom and Dad and the rest of my family proud. They all expect so much of me because they think I'm the "intelligent one", and I just pray that I can live up to their expectations this time.

The further away my exams get, the more I start to doubt that I will get the grades. I know that two out of three subjects went really well but I've never succeeded to get the grades I need now in the past so why should this time be any different? I worked ten times as hard, maybe that work will pay off. I really hope it does.

I'd really like to get the grades because then it gives me the desicion. I can choose whether I want to go to university or not. If I don't get the grades, I can't go and that's the end of that. I want to find my own path, I don't want to be pushed down one.

All along, through all of my blogs I've been saying (whether subtely or just outright) that I hope there is something more to life that what I have now, I'm determined to find something more, something amazing that will make me excited and happy and not just "ordinary". For the first time, last night I told someone I was looking for something more out of life and their reply was that they'd wanted something more out of life a few years ago when they were about my age, but now they'd given up on it because "it just isn't life the movies". There are so many things that I want to do, want to find, want to prove.

There are so many things. I'm eighteen years old. This is just the beginning.


I will prove everyone wrong one day.
I will live my dreams and do everything I want to in my life.
I will be extraordinary. Even if it's just for a minute.
I will change someone's life.
I will make myself happy, and I will make my family proud.
I will.
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