My last post was more of a story so I'm going to try and get back on track to my confusing, thought provoking ways.
There's one topic I touched on in my last post, a tpoic that I haven't talked about properly in a while that I feel the need to get off my chest again.
The boy.
This time, it's a different boy (again). Well actually, it's another boy on top. But I'll stick with being vague and not explain anymore than that.
Why is it that a boy can be talking and texting you none stop, seeming really interested in you and really wants to go out with you sometime, and then one day he'll just suddenly change his mind and decide, actually, no, I don't want to talk, text or see you anymore?
All girls do is try to impress the boy they like so that he likes her back, and if, by some lucky one off chance he does like her back, all she does is try to keep him happy, say things she thinks he'll like, never tell him what she really thinks or feels, just to keep him happy. But it always backfires in the end.
I know they say you should be yourself when you're meeting new people so that they know the real you and not some fake person that you're pretending to be, but what if you can't be yourself until you've got to know the person and learnt that it's okay to be yourself because they're not going to treat you badly?
Right now, my head is spinning. I'm supposedly going on a date tomorrow, he was hot at the beginning of this week and now he's gone cold. Perfect. Just in time. We might not be going now. Which is really kind of annoying, because I really prepared myself for it and I do want to go. I was just praying that it was going to go well and I'd be good enough. But guess not.
Now I'm waiting for one single text. A text to tell me how he's feeling and whether we're going to go or not.
If I don't get the text, I hope I'll be strong enough to stop myself from ever speaking to him again.
He probably wouldn't notice.
And then someone else, a friend who granted I've talked about before and had feelings for before but now it's platonic (although we are really, really good friends and he's got much hotter lately - not that that's important!) threw another spanner in the works. He was talking to me about taking lots of girls out and then he decided to say he and I should go out sometime. I didn't know what he meant. Does that mean he wants to go on a date? Or is it just as friends so he can see how well he gets on with the other girls compared to me because we get on quite well?
Do guys go out of their way to confuse us? Do they do it on purpose? Or are they completely oblivious to the fact that they're making our heads spin, with millions of questions running back and forth, trying to figure out what it means?
It's a long time since I've talked about being "happy in love".
I'm so happy that the majority of my best friends are happy in love - and that I like every single one of the guys (that's a big thing for me).
If I get a text tomorrow, everything goes to plan and well then I'll be happier in love.
Let's see what happens.
Please let this one be different.
x
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