Everything Happens For A Reason.

Once again, I am amazed how quickly and dramatically feelings, lives and situations change.

I was able to say I was truly happy a couple of weeks. A few weeks of sunshine, friends, going out where and when we wanted - and meeting a really nice guy who made me happy... and nervous! I think it's really good when someone can make you nervous. A good nervous though, a "oooooh yaayy aahh" kind of nervous rather than a dreading pit of the stomach nervous. Do you know what I mean? It makes sense to me anyway.
He makes me nervous. Well, he did. We don't talk anymore. I was really happy... But things change. Lives change. And don't I know it?

So, as I was saying, I was really happy and even though some things were going wrong, I was still smiling and having the time of my life. It lasted a few weeks, but it ended a few days ago, much to my dispair. Now, we are back at school, my friends are going out and having good times and although I join them the majority of the time, I feel bad the times that I can't go, and when I do go I never seem to have as good times as they seem to, which makes me worry because then I think they might think I'm upset or something and they have to look after me when they don't because I don't want to ruin their fun.

My distraction went really wrong, and the reason it went wrong doesn't make sense to me, I don't understand what happened, and I definately don't understand why. It wasn't anything major, so maybe I'm missing something, and maybe I'm making myself believe that he was a good person and didn't do anything wrong when he did. But I just don't see it. I don't understand why it just ended like that and we can't even talk or be friends. Maybe I was just with the wrong people at wrong time. Maybe he'll figure out and understand what I mean and then make it better.

Maybe I'm just not supposed to understand.

I always say everything happens for a reason. Is this happening for a reason? (A while ago I said I used two or three rhetorical questions in each blog, and it has occurred to me while writing this blog and asking questions that recently I haven't been using that many, if any at all.)
Is this happening for a reason? It must be. In the long term, I am sure I will be able to look back on it and say I learnt something. I can't wait to know what I will learn because I have no idea at this moment.

I don't really believe that a male and a female can have a completely platonic relationship (assuming they are both straight because otherwise my point wouldn't work). There is always a point in their relationship when one likes the other, or when something sexual or physical happens between them. Whether this lasts is a different story - and hopefully a happy one, but it always happens. I can think of very few people that I have had a strictly platonic relationship with, assuming it was accepted for it to be more than platonic.



Everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes you just have a wait a long time to realise what the reason actually is...
Be patient, and try and understand.

There is always a better day ahead. You just have to wait for it.

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