Anything But Ordinary Please.

The past few days I've come to one final conclusion about my life as I know it and how I feel at the moment.

I am bored.

Everyday, my life just follows the same routine. My life as I know it is changing, I've always loved it and been satisfied by it. I'm not unhappy, I do like my life and I really appreciate everything that I have, I'm just bored.
Everything I had planned for my future now just seems average, normal and boring. I want to do something exciting with my life, something different. "I wanna be anything but ordinary please." There's a song with that title by Avril Lavigne that describes how I feel at the moment quite well.

Also, "Defying Gravity" from Wicked the Musical.
"Something had changed within me, something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. I'm through accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so somethings I cannot change but 'til I try I'll never know."

Inside I am screaming for fun but life just has to go on everyday as normal, doing the same old, accepting life and everything the way it is just waiting for something to change. I don't know how to change it, it isn't in my power right now. I have to finish school before I'm allowed to do anything about it. I try to make the most of it and believe it or not I'm an optimist.

After being in devon with the girls I just want to travel, I want to go away again, I've always wanted to go round the world but now I just can't wait to leave. I want to go as soon as I can, get away from here and from normality. My best friend and I used to say that we would go away on a gap year together, it would be the best year of our lives, but she's settled down and she's going to uni for four years now so if we ever did go, it't not going to be for another 5 years at least. So, now I've decided that I'm going. I'll go on my own if I have to.

I want to do something crazy, something wild and fun so that I feel free and excited and really happy. I want to live my life, and right now I feel like it's just passing me by.


The dreams I've had all my life now seem small, ordinary, boring. I don't want to be like everyone else. I want to change other people's lives while I'm changing mine.

But "I want" never got anybody anywhere...

x