Have you ever wanted something so much, but you knew that it was wrong and it would be totally immoral to go for what you want? Because you'd be going against the rules you live by and you'd be hurting someone - whether or not you like the person you were hurting, it's still completely unfair.
I introduce this blog like this, knowing that it might seem completely inappropriate the topic the rest of the blog is on, except I know why they are related.
On Friday night we had our birthday party. All day Friday, I spent the day preparing for the party with some people that I care very much for. It was a really good day and we all left the hall prepared for the party, all we needed now was to get dressed and made up and go back to the hall for the DJ and photos.
We had a photogropher and I managed to get some pictures of me with all the people I love.
All in all it was a very good night, everything went to plan and we got plenty of compliments about how great our party had been.
So after dreading, stressing and worrying about it all, it exceded my expectations and it was a fab night, I just can't wait to see the pictures.
Right now, I'm confused but still hopeful - I will always be hopeful - about the reasons that someone is doing certain things and treating me differently.
Why would someone who never put kisses on the ends of texts for anyone put kisses on the end of some texts sent to me? And why would someone act differently with me when their relationsip with my best friends should supposedly be exactly the same as their one with mine? Why would he look at me and sometimes hold my eye contact to make it seem like they are thinking about something to do with me? Are they thinking about me?
I need someone who is like him who knows what hes doing and why that can enlighten me! Or maybe I'd fall for that person too, if they are like him! Maybe that would be a good thing.
Maybe maybe maybe! That's all I seem to say. Nothing is in concrete!
Hope hope hope! I'll never give up hope. I don't want to.
After all of this, I've had the thought that if it was the other way then I'd hate it. We might be very, very different but she still has feelings after all.
"I didn't see this one coming, now I'm in too deep." And then I get asked the dreaded question... "Who?? x." Do I answer? I think I might just see what happens - see whether it comes up again. Hopefully not! But if it does, I understand that I must tell her whether I like it or not. It's my duty as a friend.
There is always hope! Whether you can see the light or not... If you think there is hope then there is hope. If you know it's never going to happen to you don't want to give up hope then don't!
You never know what might happen.
MAYBE.
x
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