Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Time.

It seems like ages and ages since I last wrote on here, but in fact, it hasn't been that long at all. A coouple of weeks, maybe three? I can't remember because of how long ago it seems. The past two weeks have been two bad weeks for me. I kept recieving bad news after bad news and had to sort out things, get organised, do work, get everything done that people have been nagging at me constantly to do and at the same time I haven't been too well.

Time. People say there's loads of time, that we shouldn't worry. But as soon as it comes to it and the deadlines are getting nearer, everyone starts going mental because you're not nearly done and it stresses you and them out, but there's nothing you can do because you're trying really hard t get whatever it is done but you can't seem to, and no-one seems to be able to help.
University choices are really stressing me out at the moment. I can't decide where I want to go. Only two places stand out for me and I need five. I feel like saying if I don't get accepted to the two I like then I'm going to just apply again next year. Everyone I know is sending off their UCAS application forms, or are nearly there. I haven't even finished my personal statement yet, my choices aren't done, the grade entry requirements seems way too high and all in all I really don't feel like anywhere would want to accept me anyway.

I've always wanted to leave, get away from this place and go to university, but now there's only a year to go and I'm doubting whether I even want to leave home now. All of my friends and family are going to be here, home, safe and sound and living the normal and easy life they know, when I'll be in the middle of a town or city that I've only visited once doing a course I'm not sure I want to do in a place where I know noone... And I'll probably feel further away from home than ever.

Times "flies when you're having fun". Everyone knows that saying. And everyone knows that times seems to slow down when you're not having fun.... When you're having a really bad or maybe just boring time. It goes so slowly. Why is that? I would really like to know. It's time. It doesn't actually change. It's something to do with the mind and how we feel pyschologically about it. I don't know. But it's annoying anyway.

Everything changes, sometimes so quickly that you don't even know what happened, you missed the moment that something went wrong, or right or just simply changed for you. I strongly believe with "going with the flow". I know sometimes that is impractical and maybe unwise, but changing things now for the future seems pointless to me because you never know what is going to happen. You should work how you want, when you want to. Live like for the here and now because who knows what's going to happen tomorrow? It's always a wise thing to keep an eye on the future so that you know there is somewhere to go once tomorrow comes, and if there is a goal you want to achieve then you should definitely work towards that goal.



Time. Who knows what do to with it? Take things as they come. Live for the here and now. What more can you do?

x

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